This one time my brother opened the cover of the GameCube and a fist shot out and punched him in the face four times, but that probably won't happen to anyone who buys it. I'm not saying that there's not a demon in here though, because I'm pretty sure there is one and he is pissed 1000% of the time and hates everything. We called in an exorcist from Spain, but that dude got to the front door of my apartment and was said "I'm outie" in English and never came back again, so whatever.
I played Smash Bros. Melee on this GameCube until my fingers were ragged and weak, and the controllers absorbed my blood and every now and then the console would scream like a falcon and cough up bones and lightning bolts and everything. I don't even know. But guess what? I never lost a single game because nobody was EXTREME enough to deal with this.
It's normal GameCube size, except one trillion times better, and blacker than the darkest recesses of Hell, not purple like those other gay ones. I'll even throw in a free controller because I think if you tried to introduce it to something new, it would kill it in two seconds and everything it's ever loved.
I once tried to put a sweet-ass skull sticker on the side, but before I could even apply it my hands burst into flames and my GameCube did a triple backflip for no reason. Take it to a tournament and you'll probably win everything forever, even games that nobody has heard of because I think it exists in more than one parallel universe.
Just imagine winning billions of dollars because your GameCube has a demon in it that never loses at anything because it hates losers.
Specs:
- Lightning bolts are sweet as hell
- A demon
- 4.3 inches tall, 5.9 inches wide, 6.3 inches deep, and 185.6 years into the future
- Comes with all of the connection cables because it requires them to feed
- I once beat every game ever created in one day because time and space do not apply
- Comes with a GameCube controller but make your girlfriend plug it in because seriously I don't even know
- This will last you at least 185.6 years because seriously it's already there. One time it sucked me into a wormhole and I have been praying nonstop since then
- I will include some safety precautions with the packaging to assure that your eyeballs do not immediately explode into radical orbs of lightning
- Location: Topsham
- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
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